another chapter in life...

I haven't let the blog world into what life has been like since January 29th of this year, but I thought I'd document to remind myself, how quickly life changes and to remind us all how great our God is.  Since that day, Mom was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer.  Typing and even saying it, still seems like I'm telling a story. Since then, I've counted 18 doctor or hospital visits, including 2 surgeries. The doctor appointments came fast and everything was a blur, then all of sudden, words like lymph node study, calcification's, lumpectomy, TC chemo, TAC chemo, ductal carcinoma, etc. were a part of our everyday conversation.  A roller coaster of emotions is the easiest way to explain how we've felt through all of this.  Of course, at first, it's easy to question...why?...almost an empty feeling... what I've believed and trusted in has let me down.  But, through prayers and what I know is real, God reminds me in so many ways He loves us...Oh, how he loves us.  The words of Mom's songs have brought comfort, and what I knew was a great song, have become words to live by and to hang onto... even Stella goes around singing them.  "He is there, in the midst of your confusion, He is there, He sees your tears and hears your faintest prayer...when it seems you've been forsaken and life just isn't fair, don't be alarmed, rest in His arms...the great I am is there." 

I have a book with prayers along with scriptures related to specific needs...in times of doubt, in times of discouragement, etc.  My favorite thing I've read so far is this:

 

"Worship is an act of faith where we demonstrate to our heavenly father that although we don't always see His answers to our prayers, we still know His plans for us are for good." 

 

I have to admit, that is hard to believe...I say it in my head...but do I really believe that in my heart?  Yes, I have to believe it.  I have to believe it.

Here's Mom taking round 3 of the chemo.  Her nurse Angelia, has been a comfort through it all.  We both stay busy during the treatments...neither of us can just sit and do nothing :) I'll review my workout video, do the budget or read...while Mom calls and checks the messages and returns customers calls...and of course, she continues to write songs through it all. 

 

Mom only has one more round of chemo to go, then radiation.   She is doing amazingly well. Some days are tough, but she always gets through it.  

In the middle of it all, I look at the joy Stella and Sawyer bring....their innocence... so pure.  I feel like I could just look at their little feet for hours or sit and read with them in my lap for a day, because all of a sudden I know how fast things can change.
 

I am also thankful for friends who are my family...who I know are praying for us when we don't really know the words to use or have the strength to pray. 

The peace that we are unable to describe is what Mom has...I know it.  She has kept her sense of humor in it all, and her attitude makes all the difference.

So thankful God has brought us this far... way to go Mom!